Sleepless
At her very core, she felt weary. Her eyes burned and every fiber of her body wanted only to sleep; it felt as if she had not done so in days. Even so, her eyes seemed as though they would never close, even as she lay quietly in the dark of her bedroom.
Her mind was spinning with many things: concerns, petty fears, musings, anecdotes, would-be conversations, regrets, past meetings… Any thought that a person could think seemed to pass through her mind as she lay there, and still her eyes burned for rest, her body ached for sleep. Night, she thought, was a rather cruel thing; it was meant to give reprieve to the body, the soul, and the mind, and yet it never seemed to fulfill its fabled role. Night after night, she lay awake, staring into the darkness and feeling resentful of all those who slept so soundly in their beds.
She wondered if it was not discontentment; was she unhappy? Did she toss and turn at night because she was unsatisfied with the life she lead? Or perhaps worries? Did she fret needless over a life less lived because of it? Did others suffer such nights as these? For the same reasons? Would she ever be rid of them?
She sighed and forced her eyes closed, the motion soothing.
Sleep would not come, and she did not know why…
Perhaps, if she thought hard enough, she would find the answer.
This, my friend, is the history of many in past, present and future. It is in our very own nature to reflect upon ourselves and that which surrounds us, and specially about what we’ve done, do and will do… and why at night? Because it is in the darkness and the silence that our eyes search the light within and we find ourselves. Then we make great wonderings of what was and will be, and the answers then are the most difficult to find… To know oneself is half the path towards true strength, and so sleepless nights are quite common.
How to solve this? Or at least how to be able to sleep? The answer is selfdetermination, and specially in the small things. Many things there are to be regretted, but only when she decides to stop regretting and start learning from them, then she can rest easy. This is about the past, but about the present and future? Well, the answer is more difficult, but it all comes down to choosing our destiny and walking it courageously. She will have to learn how to do that, though…
There’s so much that can still be said, yet I know not if it’s even relevant to mention… but one thing is certain: the world goes on, and the sleepless nights shall be of those who are weighed down by their cares. So she must be strong and she must be courageous, but above all, she must choose her destiny.
Keep on writing,
- César